Rabban: now there's a spicy meatball!

Reviewed on Monday, November 15th, 2021, 12:00am.

At three hours the only place they should've been driving that car is to Mordor.

Reviewed on Thursday, March 3rd, 2022, 12:00am.

This needed the J. K. Simmonses running around together and at least a Nickelback reference if not Tobey leading a singalong.

Reviewed on Sunday, May 1st, 2022, 12:00am.

Worth it for the footage of the 5th Dimension seeing themselves play “Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In” alone, but I think my favorite part is all the men in the audience looking on in fear as their wives/girlfriends lose interest in them with every note Stevie Wonder sings.

Reviewed on Saturday, April 30th, 2022, 12:00am.

Yond rug very much did tie the room togeth'r, didst t not?

Reviewed on Monday, April 25th, 2022, 12:00am.

Such a tragic story. So much promise wasted by not simply banding together and fighting cops instead of each other.

Reviewed on Sunday, April 10th, 2022, 12:00am.

I didn't once hear her reference a Joe Rogan Experience episode to justify the title, but it's a very beautiful film about every person I know.

Reviewed on Sunday, April 3rd, 2022, 12:00am.

Chapter One: Billy Ray Cyrus vs. Travis Tritt Chapter Two: Andre Agassi vs. Pete Sampras Chapter Three: Joe Dirt vs. Kid Rock

Reviewed on Friday, April 1st, 2022, 12:00am.

The words “NU METAL” appear five times in the subtitles to describe this world and the characters in it, which feels about six too few.

Reviewed on Wednesday, March 30th, 2022, 12:00am.

In high school after seeing my first Wes Anderson movie: “I'm shy about my new muscles.”

Reviewed on Saturday, March 26th, 2022, 12:00am.

What are you doing, step-uncle?

Reviewed on Wednesday, March 9th, 2022, 12:00am.

There is definitely a metaphor somewhere in Bond strolling into a place called The Poison Garden without a mask on, but I'm not quite smart enough to work out what it is.

Reviewed on Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022, 12:00am.

In my head, the events of Babe: Pig in the City are the same story of this film, told from the pig's perspective.

Reviewed on Monday, April 18th, 2022, 12:00am.

Bro I think you might be allergic.

Reviewed on Wednesday, March 30th, 2022, 12:00am.

If the Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme was a movie.

Reviewed on Sunday, March 20th, 2022, 12:00am.

Bradley Cooper as 'the kid' at the carnival is like calling the big dude in the gang 'Tiny', but for some reason none of the characters in this film seem to think it's funny like I do.

Reviewed on Monday, February 28th, 2022, 12:00am.

We really should have known The Doors could be blamed for water beds.

Reviewed on Saturday, February 26th, 2022, 12:00am.

This level of continuity quite frankly makes me uncomfortable.

Reviewed on Saturday, October 16th, 2021, 12:00am.

Taking so many notes on what I want done with my bones when I die.

Reviewed on Saturday, October 9th, 2021, 12:00am.

Honestly, by the end, I didn't even miss Starsky.

Reviewed on Sunday, May 16th, 2021, 12:00am.

I always sorta suspected Awkwafina was part of the key to world peace but it's good to have this confirmation.

Reviewed on Saturday, April 2nd, 2022, 12:00am.

So the algorithm caught on to Tony Leung, martial arts, and dragons; we need to collectively mass-Google 'best movies under two hours with sick practical effects'.

Reviewed on Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022, 12:00am.

Well-outlines the dangers of popping a party boner.

Reviewed on Sunday, October 10th, 2021, 12:00am.

Little man crushing AOL chat rooms and Iron Maiden got me right in the heart.

Reviewed on Friday, October 8th, 2021, 12:00am.

Couldn't answer a single question my wife asked me about the plot of the movie I was actively watching, absolute perfection.

Reviewed on Tuesday, August 10th, 2021, 12:00am.

I need the deleted scene of Rachel Weisz applying that smoky eye.

Reviewed on Sunday, July 11th, 2021, 12:00am.

Tig Notaro as Virgil Malloy in Ocean's Fourteen.

Reviewed on Sunday, May 23rd, 2021, 12:00am.

First time watching, are all episodes of Glee this long?

Reviewed on Thursday, April 7th, 2022, 12:00am.

$400 jacket? Fashion school students get PAID.

Reviewed on Sunday, November 21st, 2021, 12:00am.

Me, snatching the graded Ronald Acuña Jr. rookie card out of my younger self's hands: “no no no no, these are yours.” Hands him a binder full of the Colorado Rockies inaugural team's cards. “We all make choices, kid.”

Reviewed on Monday, May 2nd, 2022, 12:00am.

Never forget the Outworld blew a 9-0 lead. “Grunt” count in subtitles: 108

Reviewed on Sunday, May 23rd, 2021, 12:00am.

Accurate title!

Reviewed on Saturday, April 30th, 2022, 12:00am.

I was misled.

Reviewed on Sunday, March 6th, 2022, 12:00am.