Rabban: now there's a spicy meatball!

Reviewed on Monday, November 15th, 2021, 12:00am.

Still think they had to add that scene in post where he calls it "dogfight football" because someone in editing told Tom Cruise how football works.
Reviewed on Tuesday, August 20th, 2022, 12:00am.

Saw this with my dad and it almost made him like me.

Reviewed on Tuesday, June 7th, 2022, 12:00am.

At three hours the only place they should've been driving that car is to Mordor.

Reviewed on Thursday, March 3rd, 2022, 12:00am.

One of those movies I'll think about often as I do all the same things the movie made me commit to myself that I'd stop doing.

Reviewed on Tuesday, May 4th, 2021, 12:00am.

If ever there was a time to go alt-history on us, this would have been it. Showing Elvis just crushing it into old age on world tours, easiest 10 I'd ever give.

Reviewed on Monday, September 5th, 2022, 12:00am.

Tell me you've never tried getting help in a Fry's without telling me you've never tried getting help in a Fry's.

Reviewed on Tuesday, August 30th, 2022, 12:00am.

I hope this is what the aliens find.

Reviewed on Monday, August 15th, 2022, 12:00am.

Feeling pretty vindicated that the implications of this movie mean that Stick Stickly is an inter-dimensional being of great power, as I had always assumed.

Reviewed on Tuesday, May 31st, 2022, 12:00am.

Forty-two dead or injured civilians in the name of a single cop - pretty safe day for the LAPD!

Reviewed on Monday, May 30th, 2022, 12:00am.

Best Amon Amarth music video ever.

Reviewed on Sunday, May 22nd, 2022, 12:00am.

This needed the J. K. Simmonses running around together and at least a Nickelback reference if not Tobey leading a singalong.

Reviewed on Sunday, May 1st, 2022, 12:00am.

Worth it for the footage of the 5th Dimension seeing themselves play “Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In” alone, but I think my favorite part is all the men in the audience looking on in fear as their wives/girlfriends lose interest in them with every note Stevie Wonder sings.

Reviewed on Saturday, April 30th, 2022, 12:00am.

Yond rug very much did tie the room togeth'r, didst t not?

Reviewed on Monday, April 25th, 2022, 12:00am.

Such a tragic story. So much promise wasted by not simply banding together and fighting cops instead of each other.

Reviewed on Sunday, April 10th, 2022, 12:00am.

I didn't once hear her reference a Joe Rogan Experience episode to justify the title, but it's a very beautiful film about every person I know.

Reviewed on Sunday, April 3rd, 2022, 12:00am.

Chapter One: Billy Ray Cyrus vs. Travis Tritt Chapter Two: Andre Agassi vs. Pete Sampras Chapter Three: Joe Dirt vs. Kid Rock

Reviewed on Friday, April 1st, 2022, 12:00am.

The words “NU METAL” appear five times in the subtitles to describe this world and the characters in it, which feels about six too few.

Reviewed on Wednesday, March 30th, 2022, 12:00am.

In high school after seeing my first Wes Anderson movie: “I'm shy about my new muscles.”

Reviewed on Saturday, March 26th, 2022, 12:00am.

To see a generation that feels fistbumping your boys is an adequate replacement for therapy is as good a metaphor for the effects of war as any.

Reviewed on Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022, 12:00am.

What are you doing, step-uncle?

Reviewed on Wednesday, March 9th, 2022, 12:00am.

Not really a dumb joke to make here. Just a great reminder to sit on the floor and watch wrestling with loved ones every once in a while.

Reviewed on Monday, February 28th, 2022, 12:00am.

There is definitely a metaphor somewhere in Bond strolling into a place called The Poison Garden without a mask on, but I'm not quite smart enough to work out what it is.

Reviewed on Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022, 12:00am.

Never underestimate the power of a sister.

Reviewed on Monday, November 1st, 2021, 12:00am.

Tag yourself: I'm Elizabeth Debicki in a fevered deathstate strapped to a gurney while Robert Pattinson tries to explain the plot to me.

Reviewed on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021, 12:00am.

Dasani commercials have gotten really good.

Reviewed on Sunday, May 16th, 2021, 12:00am.

Vos could have gotten a bowl of salvia for, like, ten times less money than one of those machines and it would have been only nine times less pleasant.

Reviewed on Thursday, May 6th, 2021, 12:00am.

When a movie has a disclaimer assuring you the dances are entirely fictional you know it's about to go hard as fuck.

Reviewed on Tuesday, May 31st, 2022, 12:00am.

These Stranger Things trailers are getting elaborate.

Reviewed on Thursday, April 21st, 2022, 12:00am.

In my head, the events of Babe: Pig in the City are the same story of this film, told from the pig's perspective.

Reviewed on Monday, April 18th, 2022, 12:00am.

Bro I think you might be allergic.

Reviewed on Wednesday, March 30th, 2022, 12:00am.

If the Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme was a movie.

Reviewed on Sunday, March 20th, 2022, 12:00am.

Bradley Cooper as 'the kid' at the carnival is like calling the big dude in the gang 'Tiny', but for some reason none of the characters in this film seem to think it's funny like I do.

Reviewed on Monday, February 28th, 2022, 12:00am.

We really should have known The Doors could be blamed for water beds.

Reviewed on Saturday, February 26th, 2022, 12:00am.

This level of continuity quite frankly makes me uncomfortable.

Reviewed on Saturday, October 16th, 2021, 12:00am.

Taking so many notes on what I want done with my bones when I die.

Reviewed on Saturday, October 9th, 2021, 12:00am.

God we are such pieces of shit.

Reviewed on Monday, July 12th, 2021, 12:00am.

Loved getting to see the source material for the "Widespread Panic!" guy.

Reviewed on Tuesday, June 29th, 2021, 12:00am.

Honestly, by the end, I didn't even miss Starsky.

Reviewed on Sunday, May 16th, 2021, 12:00am.

Always gets me when it's Ethan Hunt under the mask!

Reviewed on Wednesday, April 20th, 2022, 12:00am.

I always sorta suspected Awkwafina was part of the key to world peace but it's good to have this confirmation.

Reviewed on Saturday, April 2nd, 2022, 12:00am.

So the algorithm caught on to Tony Leung, martial arts, and dragons; we need to collectively mass-Google 'best movies under two hours with sick practical effects'.

Reviewed on Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022, 12:00am.

This is exactly my process for writing my Letterboxd reviews.

Reviewed on Sunday, February 27th, 2022, 12:00am.

Well-outlines the dangers of popping a party boner.

Reviewed on Sunday, October 10th, 2021, 12:00am.

Little man crushing AOL chat rooms and Iron Maiden got me right in the heart.

Reviewed on Friday, October 8th, 2021, 12:00am.

Couldn't answer a single question my wife asked me about the plot of the movie I was actively watching, absolute perfection.

Reviewed on Tuesday, August 10th, 2021, 12:00am.

I need the deleted scene of Rachel Weisz applying that smoky eye.

Reviewed on Sunday, July 11th, 2021, 12:00am.

Tig Notaro as Virgil Malloy in Ocean's Fourteen.

Reviewed on Sunday, May 23rd, 2021, 12:00am.

First time watching, are all episodes of Glee this long?

Reviewed on Thursday, April 7th, 2022, 12:00am.

$400 jacket? Fashion school students get PAID.

Reviewed on Sunday, November 21st, 2021, 12:00am.

Me, snatching the graded Ronald Acuña Jr. rookie card out of my younger self's hands: “no no no no, these are yours.” Hands him a binder full of the Colorado Rockies inaugural team's cards. “We all make choices, kid.”

Reviewed on Monday, May 2nd, 2022, 12:00am.

Hey, so was I!

Reviewed on Sunday, June 27th, 2021, 12:00am.

Never forget the Outworld blew a 9-0 lead. “Grunt” count in subtitles: 108

Reviewed on Sunday, May 23rd, 2021, 12:00am.

Lawrence of Arabia length with Lawrence the Cable Guy quality.

Reviewed on Tuesday, April 19th, 2022, 12:00am.

Accurate title!

Reviewed on Saturday, April 30th, 2022, 12:00am.

Finally someone answers the question, 'What if The Terminator was made for a cell phone screen?'

Reviewed on Sunday, April 17th, 2022, 12:00am.

I was misled.

Reviewed on Sunday, March 6th, 2022, 12:00am.

I realized halfway through that this is effectively season two of a Netflix show, which is funny, because had you asked me to describe it at that point, I might have said it's “like season two of a Netflix show.” It's probably my fault for watching this first, but just know that if you've ever told me that Wu Assassins is a good show, you're on notice.

Reviewed on Monday, May 2nd, 2022, 12:00am.